


An Itch Begging to be Scratched

by playout, PrinnPrick



Series: Love (and) Letters [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Partners, Epistolary, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash, St. Mungo's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4751918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playout/pseuds/playout, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has a tendency to get into trouble without his partner keeping him in line. He made it three whole days this time before landing himself in a hospital-ordered quarantine. </p><p>Draco has feelings about his partner's lack of foresight...and taste in men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Itch Begging to be Scratched

Dear Draco,

I am afraid your Great Gitness will have to make do without me. I am on medical quarantine and cannot return to work until St. Mungo's clears me.

No sass or I will hex you the moment I get back. This is partially your fault, you know.

Sincerely,  
Auror Potter,  
Your Partner  
Who was not kidding about the hex  
You tit

 

******

 

Good lord, Potter,

I leave you alone for one week--one bloody week!--and you land yourself in _another_ quarantine?

How many times have we gone over the protocol for avoiding contagions? Seven, at least. And yet you charged into danger without so much as a shield charm in place! You are lucky a serious cold is the worst of it, you thickheaded imbecile.

(Robards has thoughtfully filled me in on the circumstances of your infection, which you neglected to mention.)

And how exactly is any of this _my_ fault? Out of the two of us, I seem to be the only one who knows what to do when something like a highly contagious illness is involved. Yet I'm the one stuck cleaning up your mess.

Not a fantastic way to return from holiday, you wanker.

You will be making this up to me.

DM

 

******

 

Draco,

Protocol cannot always be followed to the letter when lives are at stake, and this situation was exactly that... Not to mention there was no way I could have known at the time the girl was sick. This wasn't like before where the possible danger was suspected and therefore precautions could be taken. It was a tiny child whose parents were having a heated argument that escalated (a sadly routine job for us these days); my first priority was making sure she was safe.

Anyway, she wasn't showing yet, but it's dragon pox. Luckily I was the only one who had contact with her directly--I carried her out while Jenkins and Slythe handled the parents. I've never had it before so I caught it immediately.

As for why this is your fault, you are usually the one to scoop up the kids. I'm still surprised you like and do so well with them, by the way. Besides that whole "begetting a Malfoy heir" thing, I really did think they were inconsequential to you. It's one of the few things I'm glad I was wrong about.

Anyway, if you had been there, you would have dealt with the girl and probably been fine since you've had Dragon Pox before. Not to mention you never discussed this particular illness with me, Mister Protocol. Part of the reason you were assigned as my partner was for things like this (and because no one else wanted you, so it was either me or boring desk work unless someone else volunteered, but mainly the whole "keep Potter out of the hospital" thing).

Ugh, I can't even sleep, I itch so much. This is worse than chicken pox!

Tell me again why you absolutely _had_ to go on holiday...

Prat.

~Harry

 

******

 

Potter,

Do. Not. Scratch.

The risk of scarring is great enough as it is and Merlin knows you've got plenty of them already. You look like you got into a fight with the Monster Book of Monsters and lost.

I have included with this letter a bottle of my proprietary calamine and dittany blend. It should help with both concerns. (Do **not** let any Mungo's staff see it. They'll confiscate it as contraband and try to duplicate it for their own use and profit. Unscrupulous pit vipers.)

I feel I must point out, you used the phrase 'not showing yet' rather loosely. Sneezing sparks and green between the toes are classic early symptoms and, yes, that detail has made it in the formal report. Which I have to do in _quintuplicate_ because you are an idiot. It is not hard to cast first,  then scoop, Potter. That is what I do every time. You will note that I have never been in a hospital-mandated quarantine despite our regular exposure to all manner of unsavoury individuals and situations.

The fact that I favour the children shouldn't be a mystery to you. They are almost always innocents caught up in frightening circumstances that are beyond their control. ...Ringing any bells?

Since my job is apparently as your nursemaid, oh Vaunted One, I have taken it upon myself to clean out the disaster-zone you call a workspace. _You're welcome._ I threw a great many things away--I do hope you are not missing anything sentimental when you return. That would just be dreadful, would it not?

I did save the dog-eared copy of Quidditch Quarterly's Body Issue hidden at the bottom of your desk. What an...interesting thing to have in the office. Though, I must say, the Falcon's Seeker? _Really?_ That flat-faced, dead-behind-the-eyes Ukranian has nothing to offer beyond his six-pack. You have terrible taste in men.

Draco

 

******

 

Draco,

You did WHAT? What gives you the right to go through my desk?! Yes, I had several sentimental items, including a pen holder Teddy made me and a snitch necklace watch I got as a gift from the Tutshill Tornadoes! And my mug--my mug had better be there when I get back!

And for your information, I do not typically go for dark-haired men. I was using his body as reference. His is the lean, muscular, fair-skinned type I prefer, so I would just imagine him with a different head.

Harry

P.S.  
You big snoop.

P.P.S.  
It was oddly nice of you to include the potion. Thanks for that, it really does help. You have such a knack for them, how come you didn't pursue Potions as a career instead?

 

******

 

Quit whinging, Potter, I did you a favour. The appropriate response is, "Thank you, Draco. You are a phenomenal partner. I am so lucky to have you. I would be lost without you. And, might I say, you look quite fetching in Auror burgundy," etc., etc.

Of course I didn't throw away your keepsakes--I'm not a monster. What I disposed of was the accumulated detritus from several years' worth of greasy takeaway as well as dozens of outdated memos and briefings.

You, sir, are a disgusting slob. It's a wonder you haven't contracted a horrible disease from your own ruddy desk yet!

Draco

P.S.  
When you say you were using his body as a "reference", I can't help but think that you don't mean in any sort of fine art/life drawing capacity. Which then makes me wonder why you told me at all...

 

******

 

Draco,

Forget the damn Seeker! Godrick. I shouldn't be allowed near a quill when I'm doped up on potions. Let's just pretend I didn't say anything about him at all, yeah?

At least the desk is clean now, which I do appreciate. I've been meaning to do that for a year. I usually clean it during Spring but I was caught up with work.

Why do you want me to call you fit? You don't need me to remind you, narcissistic git. Everyone already knows.

What's the status on the case?

Potter

 

******

 

Potter,

How much longer until you are cleared for duty? I will probably regret saying this, but the office is duller without you.

The case is resolved. It was as straightforward as it appeared, unfortunately. Man gets mad. Man attacks wife. Man is sentenced to parole and mandatory visits with a Mind Healer. I have filed all the necessary paperwork.

I just realized that I neglected to answer your earlier question about my career choice. It is good of you to recognize my talent for Potions. While it _is_ rather substantial, it is easy to overlook in our field of work.

At any rate, I became an Auror to address the debt I owe to society. Put simply, people died because of me, ergo I must do my part to save lives with all the means at my disposal. Not that that will ever make it up to the individuals and families who were hurt by my actions, but nothing can, really.

...Moving on to topics that are substantially less depressing and, conversely, far more interesting, I feel I must inform you that I didn't actually prompt you to call me fit. I am delighted that you think so, however. It doesn't come _completely_ naturally, you know.

Draco

 

******

 

Draco,

(You can call me "Harry", by the way.)

I'm glad the case has been solved, but what about the girl? Is she out of the hospital? At home with her father? Safe? I must know.

It seems to me you could have done the same thing--that is, make amends--with Potions just as well as law enforcement. That stuff you sent was far more effective than what the hospital has now. Oh, and I'll be stuck here at least another week (maybe longer). They "don't want to take any chances." Bastards. But if you send over files I can at least do some paperwork for you.

What do you mean not completely natural? You have magical enhancement or something?

Harry

 

******

 

Dear Potter,

(I prefer Potter, but thanks all the same.)

The girl is safe. She is home with her mother who wisely turned the lout out on his ear. They, too, will be seeing Mind Healers to deal with the trauma. I think they will be all right, though. They both send their thanks to you for your heroic assistance.

It took a bit of finagling, but I was able to get Robards to approve sending these files to you. Just make sure the hospital staff sanitizes them like they do your letters before they leave your room. He'll have your balls if you get any of us sick.

I still dabble in Potions in my off time. I imagine I might retire to it someday. If opening my own orphanage doesn't pan out.

That is a joke.

Mostly.

I hope to adopt someday. More than once, even. (Feel free to pick your jaw up off the ground.)

I didn't say "not completely natural." Merlin. These looks are 100% Malfoy. I just meant I have to watch what I eat and get my time in at the gym to maintain my figure--I don't have the metabolism of an adolescent any longer. More's the pity.

Draco

 

******

 

Draco,

How about that! I was planning on adopting someday, as well. Or asking one of my friends to be a surrogate mother. Hermione and Ginny both offered, actually, but I told them I wanted to wait until I have a stable partner. Teddy is a handful as a crazy toddler, I can't imagine how hard a _baby_ will be. (But I want at least five.)

Thanks for the files. I was going spare with nothing to do but writing a few letters here and there. As soon as I get out I may actually organize my living room (which I have also been meaning to do for a year.)

You didn't have to work out as a teenager? Lucky bastard.

Harry

 

******

 

Potter,

Forgive me if this is too forward, but does that mean you are interested in men _exclusively_? If so, I am impressed with your ability to keep that detail out of the public conversation. I know you are a highly private individual, but the fact that the press hasn't yet caught wind of that juicy tidbit is a testament to your discretion.

Surrogacy to me is too messy. I would hate to have the surrogate become attached to the child, thus resulting in a bitter custody dispute. Unlike my forefathers, I don't require a child to be biologically mine to know that it is my own.

You really must be suffering if you consider paperwork and organizing a welcome diversion. I took it upon myself to track down the Body Issue from the last three years. For your "reference."

Draco

 

******

 

Draco,

You know I wasn't going to ask, since you tend to be pretty tight lipped yourself, but why do you refuse to use first names when offered?

As for my own sexuality, I just don't talk about it with many people. I really don't care if anyone knows, but I guess I know who to trust not to run their mouths. I have no idea how it isn't public yet either, other than I am generally anti-social.

I never thought about separating the kid totally from the mother, hence why I would use a friend, but adoption _is_ kinder. It's a long process, though.

Thanks for the magazines, but considering where I am and the condition I am in, they are virtually useless. Teasing, even. But that was your real intention, wasn't it?

Here are the reports a day early.

Godrick, I'm so bored. Hermione sent me five puzzles and I solved them all today. All five. I have been that mind-numbingly starved for entertainment in here  

Please send me more of your fantastic potion. I would be most grateful. The hospital stuff smells like death and leaves a weirdly sticky film.

Harry

 

******

 

Potter,

I don't refuse to use first names. And I am not _refusing_ to use yours, if it's an issue for you. You've just been Potter to me for as long as I have known you. "Harry" sounds odd.

I am honoured to be counted among those you trust "not to run their mouths." Your secret is safe with me. Strange, isn't it?

Adoption is a long process, but I am not in a hurry. Like you, I wish to embark on that journey with a partner (a husband, more specifically) and preferably not while my job carries such a high level of risk. So it is a few years down the line, I'm sure.

At least five children, by the way? Good heavens. I know the Weasleys are your adoptive family but that doesn't mean you have to model yours after them exactly. And if you do go to surrogacy route, five may strain the generosity of your female friends.

I am quite sure this is the fastest you have ever completed your reports. And they are free from errors, no less! I have half a mind to see about extending your stay there. If nothing else, it would do wonders for our annuals.

Included with this letter is a new stack of reports for you and an assortment of potions and tinctures to ease your discomfort (all clearly labeled with their type and purpose). The vanilla-orange aromatherapy crème is excellent for relaxation, particularly if you exercise a bit of creativity in its application. ...There is almost nowhere in the hospital more private than the quarantine zone and your condition isn't _that_ miserable.

Draco

P.S.  
I never tease.

 

******

 

Draco,

You had better not extend my stay! I know you could do it if you bribed the right people.

I don't mind the name thing I suppose, but I've been calling you "Draco" for months and it feels more natural. Weird at first, but now I like it.

As for kids, what can I say? I love children. I grew up without siblings or much family at all, and despite their financial struggles, being with the Weasleys made me happy. But I don't necessarily need to be their biological father either. I have Teddy to satisfy for now; as for my own kids, I'd like a girl and a boy at least. A big family has always been appealing to me since my own lackluster childhood.

I don't care if I was in solitary, that kind of thing just seems dirty in a hospital. Besides, this place is not the most secure news wise... If one of the nurses caught me, I'd be in for it. I want real human interaction, but not like that!

Harry

P.S.  
Any chance you could sneak in a treacle tart, as well?

 

******

 

Potter,

You Gryffindors are such obstinate prudes. Do you really think no one has ever wanked in St. Mungo's before? And if word of it did get out, what would the headline be, "Harry Potter Has A Sex Drive! And Other Facts That Should Surprise Abolutely No One"?

Though you are correct that I could, I won't be making any bribes to keep you there. I have been all but grounded in the office without you. Apparently the higher ups don't trust ex-Death Eaters in the community without an armed escort.

It makes sense that you would want to create the family you never had growing up. Two children is the most appealing number to me, but I likely could be persuaded to go higher. Not that you've any interest in my stance on the matter.

No treacle tart for you, I'm afraid. St. Mungo's checks for that sort of thing. We'll just have to get you one when you are finally released.

...Two more days?

Draco

 

******

 

Draco,

Two more days if I am lucky. I can't actually tell if I am getting any better, but apparently that's normal.

Well, _I_ won't be wanking here all the same. Your commentary was hilarious, though. Thanks anyway tor the thought (and the gifts).

You could be persuaded into how many? Boy or girl? Twins (one of each) would be nice, though a major handful. But with the right partner it's manageable, I think.

I am going to eat so much treacle tart when I get out. You should come with me--I will need some company after this mess. I feel like I'm in prison. I haven't been able to deal well with isolation since I was a kid.

Harry

 

******

 

That's it, I'm breaking you out of there. Between the files and the puzzles and your apparent interest in my company, you've obviously gone round the twist. Two weeks is beyond excessive for dragon pox, even if you had a severe strain. That hospital is up to no good, I can feel it.

Midnight tonight. Be ready.

\--D.

 

******

 

Draco, you are absolutely **not** to break me out of the hospital! I might still be contagious and I absolutely refuse to get anyone else unfortunate enough to come in contact with me sick, as well.

Besides, I admit I have wanted to ask you on a- to spend time with me anyway. That wasn't a side-effect of any hospital mishap.

Harry

 

******

 

Potter,

You ninny. You are not still contagious. Does your skin have a greenish tint? Still sparking when you sneeze? I highly doubt it. But if you truly don't want a dashing and heroic rescue, that is your loss.

When you are ready to ask me to spend time with you, say the word; I have had more time than I know what to do with lately. (Though I have a few ideas now...)

Draco

P.S.  
What's the point of secret code names if you call me by my given name in your very next reply? What kind of Auror are you?

 

******

 

Draco,

I've a few spots still, but nothing else. If you don't mind me having polka dots, I suppose I wouldn't say no to a rescue (and it's been a while since I broke the rules, so I am sorely tempted.)

So, yes, come save me. I hate this place and I am going mad being cooped up here. That, and I am curious about your ideas. I technically have to remain in some sort of quarantine for two more days, but I am certain your place would be fine for that. Or mine if you prefer.

Harry

 

******

 

There's the Gryffindor spirit!

I am on my way.

Draco

 

******

 

HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS AND MENTALLY UNSTABLE HARRY POTTER BREAKS OUT OF HOSPITAL QUARANTINE WITH HIS DEATH EATER PARTNER, PUTTING HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT CIVILIANS AT RISK!

 _Will this jeopardize his position within the DMLE? What about his bid for Minister?_ A grim-looking Head Auror says, "We will be having words."

Inside this issue: The Chosen _Poof_? St. Mungo's Staff Tell All!


End file.
